Your journey from Mormonism
Have you left the Mormon church and feel ready to move forward in your life but unsure where to go from here?
Are you questioning whether you can trust your intuition and instincts?
Are you wondering what to do with your time now that you’re not being told what to do?
Are wondering how to fill a gap or a void in your life?
Are you navigating the impact this has had on relationships in your life?
Are you ready to celebrate and embrace a new feeling of freedom and excitement?
Is it time for you to create a joyful and guilt-free relationship with you?
How I can support you
Wherever you are on your LDS journey our focus would be to help you choose how to think and feel. You would be the creator of your life and your reality. You would know, from with yourself, how you want your life to unfold. And you will make it happen.
We'd do that, together, by visualising and creating goals and intentions to help you get to where you want to be and feel how you want to feel.
You will be in safe hands. Working with a coach can be an incredibly powerful way to move forward but I would not allow us to get into areas where a therapist would be more appropriate to seek support from.
My experience of Mormonism
I was born in North London to parents who believed in god and were members of the Church of England (C of E).
They attended church regularly… for christenings, weddings and funerals.
I was christened as a baby into the C of E and was occasionally sent to Sunday school where, along with visits to my school from the local vicar, I developed a sweet belief in Jesus Christ.
My introduction to the church - thanks a bunch, Donny Osmond!
My first awareness of the Mormon church came from The Osmonds; at the height of their fame in the UK their PR for the church was exceptional. I was nine years old when Donny Osmond’s handsome face was plastered over the front pages of music magazines and I was smitten with puppy love at first glance.
My fate was later sealed when a Mormon in my class at secondary (high) school invited me to go to church with him and his sister. I eagerly accepted.
Thirty years in the church
For most of the following 30 years I was a true believer. Hook, line and sinker.
I fulfilled numerous church assignments, including a full-time mission. I taught seminary and institute and also worked in the primary, youth and women’s organisations.
I married (and divorced) a returned missionary in the London Temple and did my very best to, as my now husband so accurately puts it… pray, pay and obey.
The internet arrived and church history as I knew it left
In 2000 the internet came into our home. Pretty much my first thought was to research Mormon church history; I arrogantly considered myself to be a church history buff at the time.
I’d loved the year of seminary, when I was a teen, that covered the Doctrine and Covenants and Church History. I’d relished teaching the subject as an adult as both a Seminary and Institute teacher.
I had been enthralled by the church history sites I’d visited when I was 18. I’d felt as though I was walking on hallowed ground when I explored Nauvoo, Hawn’s Mill, Adam-ondi-Ahman, Far West, Independence, Liberty and Carthage.
Having seen these places, and studied voraciously for many years, I smugly thought I knew the history of the Mormon church.
Seems I did not know real church history at all.
All I knew was the approved, sanitised and palatable history that’s shared with the members of the church to this day.
The actual factual church history, that I discovered online, made me instantly doubt whether anything I knew about the early leaders of the church was complete or true.
I read of incidents in the life of Joseph Smith that I tried hard to dismiss but I couldn’t ignore the ring of truth that rang so loudly in my mind and in my heart.
The church-dots soon stopped connecting.
My shelf broke
Along with my newfound awareness that the history of the church was far from the idealised version portrayed by church leaders, I also struggled with the homophobia and racism I saw coming from the headquarters of the church.
Not to mention the whole Mark Hoffman affair, the forger turned murderer, which devastated my trust in the church leaders’ claims to be led by god as they were completely duped by him (Hoffman).
A huge dent in my belief was that senior church leaders started to come clean about the fact they didn’t actually see Jesus in person when they received a message from him. They had previously implied that they had and I, along with millions of others, believed them.
As I saw the house of cards tumble before my eyes, I tried incredibly hard to keep believing. It was part of who I was. I wanted the church to be the real McCoy. I was incredibly distressed to consider it might not be.
After much soul searching and many conversations with true believing friends I reluctantly concluded that, whether or not it was ‘true’, I wanted no part of it.
I left soon after. Initially not being 100% sure it was false but willing to take the risk that I might be condemning myself to eternal damnation.
For many years after leaving I felt a mix, in varying degrees of intensity, of pain, anger, confusion, overwhelm, betrayal, sadness, fear, depression, excitement, peace and hope.
How it is now
It’s 50 years since I first learnt of the church, 46 years since I was baptised (I attended for a few years before my parents gave approval for baptism) and 17 years since I left.
My journey in, through and out of Mormonism has made me who I am. And I like who I am. I am at peace.
I still have a hope in a power greater than ourselves. Perhaps it’s our own inner wisdom. Perhaps it comes from elsewhere.
The fact is, I simply don’t know and I love that. From thirty years of ‘knowing’ the rigid truth set out by Mormonism I love the concept that anything and everything is possible.
It’s time now for me to extend my hand to those who are walking their path to support, understand and guide.
I don’t claim to understand fully what anybody else experiences. I realise I cannot see within another persons mind and heart.
I can however offer to you a combination of my skills as an effective life coach combined with my experience of Mormonism.
My style of coaching is intuitive.
I will listen deeply to what you say and to what you do not say. My energy and yours will connect. We will do this together.